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Learning to face life with a smile...and occasional hysterical laughter.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

It's Been One of Those Days

It's been a rough week. But thank God, our pastor's message last night was about grief. If there's one thing I know about, it's grief. Pain. Heart-wrenching agony. Loss. Feelings of hopelessness. But -- thank God -- He has blessed me with some wisdom about what to do about it. I didn't listen to my own self very well this week. I should have consulted myself about how to handle this past week. But the message last night reminded me of what God has taught me: that His comfort lies in His word, specifically the Psalms. He also taught me powerfully last night that His comfort also lies in the hands of His people. The prayer of another God-follower always brings me to tears. And last night, the touch of another woman's hand on my shoulder reminded me that God has created a family for us here on earth that is far better (and larger!) than any earthly birth family -- His church.

Rather than write a new post, I'm reposting a blog post from 2005, written a mere 6 months after my mother had taken her own life. I pray that reading this helps you as it did me this morning. And please find your Christian family; they need you as much as you need them. God gave us to each other.

September 25, 2005
"Faith For the Long Haul"

"How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Ps. 13:1-2).

How many of us can relate to David? All of us! We all have struggles, these "thorns in the flesh," as Paul put it. For some of us, it's a struggle with our thoughts. For others of us, it's a physical ailment. We have been hurt by others in the past, we are tormented by some in our lives today. Satan uses our frailties to bring us down. We feel as if our pain will never end. And sometimes it never will. In the second chapter of 2 Corinthians, Paul asked God to remove his struggle. God refused. But God loves us; we are His children. He will not allow us to suffer more than we can bear. (See 1 Corinthians 10:13.) God knows what His children need, and He will provide what we need. It's up to us to recognize this and receive what He offers us.

So what then shall we do as we cope with these struggles? David and Paul offer examples. David said, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me" (Ps. 13:5-6). David did four things. He 1) determined that he would trust God, 2) reminded Himself that God is faithful, 3) praised God for saving him, and 4) remembered the good things with which God had blessed him. The next time you are feeling bombarded and brought low, follow David's example. And always keep a good worship music CD around. Praising God even in the midst of frustration and sadness will direct your eyes to heaven. Two songs that come to mind are "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Trading My Sorrows."

Back to Paul...God refused to remove his struggle, didn't he? Why? God said to Paul, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" (2 Cor. 12:9a). Did Paul say, "Oh, but God, I can't do it, I just can't do it." No, he didn't. If he had, he would have been focused on his limited human strength, not on God's power. Instead, he said, "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor. 12:9b-10). Remember that in all things, God is to be glorified. Our weaknesses reveal God's almighty strength.

We will have good days when we can actually feel God's hand supporting us. We will also have bad days when we feel like we're in a pit. The key is to remember what God has done for you in the past, recognize that it was He who saved you many times, praise Jesus for giving His life up for yours, and make a conscious decision to trust God to keep on keeping you.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

What Do You Do?

Since I was 7 years old, I've wanted to be a writer. I can't remember exactly who or what gave me the idea (Judy Blume? Laura Ingalls Wilder?), but I know that even from that age, I knew that writing was one of the main things that makes me me. Writers are told that, above all, they must write. Just do it. So, in following that advice, I have been trying to write weekly. When you figure out what you're designed to do, it's not too difficult to make yourself do it.

But then again, there's life. You've got to pay the bills, clean up the toddler's toys (again!), concoct something for dinner, and then you've got to get some sleep. I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am, what I do, and why I do it. I earn a living as a high school teacher, and fortunately, my profession can integrate my life purpose. However, as our pastor explained last night, one's profession is not the same thing as one's purpose. So, even during the 2 years that I did not teach, I still had my purpose. And even on the days when I feel my students are learning nothing of the subject matter, I can be comforted by the thought that I am still fulfilling God's purpose by being there.

Here's the thing that I love about one's purpose: Once you figure out what it is and find the motivation and courage to follow the energy of your purpose, you won't have to try very hard to do it, at least most of the time. In Luke 5, Jesus comes into the life of Simon Peter and blesses him with a huge catch of fish. In verse 10, Jesus says, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men" (NIV). In Matthew and Mark, the wording is a bit different: Jesus says He will make them "fishers of men." That wording, to me, puts more of an emphasis on the efforts of the disciples. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have to make an effort to follow what God wants us to do. But I have found that when you are following the Spirit's calling and prompting in your life, your work in His service (your life purpose) often doesn't feel like work. The fishermen had been trying and trying to catch fish, but when Jesus showed up, they just had to pull up the filled-to-bursting nets. Similarly, when you do what God has designed you to do, you don't have to try so hard -- you just pull up the nets. God will put things into place to aid you in fulfilling your purpose.

And isn't the purpose of us all to ultimately to catch men and women and pull them up closer to our God? Whether it's people who've never heard of God or it's lifelong Christians who are nearing the end of their lives who just need the encouragement to keep on being encouragers to others, catching people where they are and showing them God is our purpose.

Someone once told me that the secret to life is to "follow your energy." While I have found that to be true, I have also learned that "energy" is really God's Spirit. He gives us life, counsel, comfort, and joy.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
Please, for the sake of us all, search out your purpose. Don't put it off. We all grow weary. But there is peace and satisfaction that can combat your world-weariness. Remember:

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. ...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:1b-3, 15-16).

God made you to be you. And, as the saying goes, God doesn't make junk. It is never to late to become what God intended you to be. Your life purpose has always been there. Nothing you can do can change that.

Please pray for me, that I may understand clearly God's purpose for me, that I may not be distracted from pursuing it. And know that I am praying for you.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Thank God It's...Today!

This post may not quite hang together nicely, as I plan to simply report the things that have been rolling around in my mind the past couple of weeks. I pray you find something in what I've said to help you live successfully and joyfully in this big thing we call life.

Last night our pastor began his new sermon series, titled "Thank God It's Monday!" I love it! The focus of his message was...joy! I began this blog about 5 years ago with the mission of finding out what joy is, how to get it, and how to spread it. Joy is not an emotion. It is a state of mind. It is an attitude. It is who you are at your core. Do you remember the children's song?
"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart to stay."
Our pastor explained that in scripture the word "heart" can be interchanged with "spirit" or "gut." Our society tends to use the word "heart" when describing feelings. But having joy is not a feeling. It is a quality you have that leads you to make decisions about how you will react to the events in your life.

So how do you get joy? Jesus Himself explains how:

"If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15: 5b).
Every day you must "remain in [His] love" (John 15:9b). Every day you must connect with Your Father, with Your big brother and Savior, and with Your comforter and counselor. Crack open the Bible. Read Psalms. Read John. Read Ephesians and Galatians. Just get in there. Talk to God. He's always ready to listen. But also listen to what He wants to say to you. Get still. Get quiet. And listen.

Joy comes from knowing that God has you in the palm of His hand, in the shelter of His wing, no matter what circumstance in which you find yourself. "[I]n all our troubles my joy knows no bounds" (2 Corinthians 7:4b). Not long before I began this blog, my mother died suddenly under horribly unpleasant circumstances. I haven't figured out this whole thing called life, but fortunately, I had learned by then that I needed to connect with God daily so I wouldn't lose my mind or the joy that I had recently figured out I had. And, perhaps this was stupid, but I even told Satan that I would never renounce my faith and trust in God, no matter what evil came into my life. Whew. I guess he wanted to test me on that; the past few years have been quite difficult.

But they've also taught me more and more about joy. And my joy has grown, has become stronger, more stable, less susceptible to life's storms. My house is built on rock, baby, not sand.

The past few years have been hard for my family for a number of reasons. This past weekend I traveled to San Antonio, where my family lives, because my maternal grandfather's health began to deteriorate further. Not a pleasant reason for a trip. But during the trip I was told some delightful news. And as emotionally draining as last weekend was, I am thankful for the time there because God showed me powerfully how important it is to develop and nurture relationships with those you love and who love you. And sometimes family isn't the ones who gave birth to you; your family is those who give you life. As our pastor put it, "Joy is the essence of life." Figure out who leads you to discover real life and invest your time in those folks. If you can't list very many, I encourage you to seek relationships within a church body who does a lot of work in your community for those in need. I don't mean they support a couple of missionaries overseas and that's it. I mean the churches who meet people right in your part of the world and do something to help and empower people.

We're all wired differently, and reading has always been easy for me; it's how I learn things, process my own thoughts and ideas. So I feel pretty comfortable gleaning wisdom through scripture reading. Prayer, on the other hand...well, I haven't gotten that one quite figured out yet. I suppose I haven't set much time aside for it. Oh, I'll shoot out the "arrow" prayers: "God, please help so-and-so do well in surgery today," "God, help me not to kill that student in fourth period today," etc. But deep, intimate prayer? Haven't experienced it much myself.

At the beginning of the school year, I began walking for about 20 minutes after work. Good exercise (which I hadn't had in years!), good way to transition from work life to home life. What's also nice is the location: the indoor walking track at our church. So I walk past the youth classrooms and youth ministers' offices -- it's lovely to be in a building whose purpose is to serve God. So I'd been consistent about walking for about 3 weeks. It was nice being in the church, and I'd think about my day, my students, my family as I walked. Then one day it finally hit me: What about praying for a different person or group of people for each lap around the track? So I started praying. And let me tell you, it was AWESOME! Haven't prayed like that in quite a long time. I think sometimes we need structure to our thinking, praying, worshiping. And then of course other times, we need no structure. But I think we as human beings need reminders. When I was in college, a girl in the Christian organization of which I was a member suggested that each time we checked our mailbox, we pray for a specific person. So, think of a routine you perform daily and see if you can integrate prayer into that routine.

And pray for me. I am praying for you. And recite every day, as our pastor instructed us, "Live well. Love much. Laugh often."