Trusting God -- do you find it as difficult to do as I do? I mean, I don't blame us; it's hard to trust things you can't see. Even Jesus said, "[B]lessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29b). We believe the sun will come up today because it came up yesterday and all the days before. Trust grows out of a consistent experience. It's funny that we are supposedly the superior species of all God's creations, yet we're so hardheaded. Let's take birds, for example. I don't think birds are all that smart. I've seen quite a few doves collide with a glass window at top speed. And sometimes the same dove does it over and over again. But even the birds have some things figured out that we don't.
My husband, over the past few years, has taken to feeding the hummingbirds in our neighborhood. The first year he purchased some plants known to attract hummers. Unfortunately, those plants have since died, but the hummers keep coming to our back porch for their nectar. Why? Because of past experience. Consistently, every summer, food has been provided to them. This weekend my family is visiting my dad in South Texas. Growing up, my mom consistently fed the birds and squirrels of the neighborhood. I hadn't thought much about this till this weekend. My dad and his "lady friend" (his term, not mine) have begun hanging bird feeders (including a hummingbird feeder) and setting out bird baths. (Don't worry, squirrels -- you'll have your own feeder soon, too.) And the birds flock to the trees, enjoying the seeds and the refreshing water. I love that these men in my life take care of the birds. Why can't I learn that the "Other Man" in my life (He should be the Top Man) does the same for me consistently? In the words of Jesus:
"'Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.... Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!'" (Luke 12:6-7, 24).
Yes, even the birds trust our God.
Yesterday I read this quote by Martha Tennison: "We only trust people we know. If you're struggling to trust God, it may be because you don't really know God" (quoted by Joanna Weaver in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, p. 125). Wow. So now what do we do? Even if we have the why, we're often left with the how. If you've read my blog before, you already know the answer. Set time aside for you and God. Do it regularly. As you consistently experience God, your trust will grow.
I'm praying for you. Please pray for me. We all need to trust God more.
My heart is awash in a variety of emotions and thoughts this morning. First of all, please know that I know that the world is full of pain, suffering, problems, weariness, and confusion. But also know this, as our pastor put it last night: "The comfort that the Comforter brings is greater than the pain that you're suffering." I know. That sounds nice, doesn't it? But how often do we really feel that? Let me tell you, I hear ya. When the bills come in, and those numbers are bigger than you'd expected, God's comfort seems pretty far away. When you suddenly lose a loved one, the agony feels like death to your spirit. When your relationships are strained, you feel so alone. BUT I can tell you that God's comfort is real. It is possible. I have experienced it. And I've experienced it more than once. These writings began as a quest for joy. I have to be honest: I have not felt joyful regularly in a very long time. But I pray that I'm on the right path to get there again. The way I always get there is through regular (daily!) reading of God's Word.
One of the names for the Holy Spirit is Comforter. The Spirit can be a difficult "God-person" (remember, God is 3 persons) to understand. But as our pastor has guided us through a study of Him, I've begun to get it. John 16:13 says, "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come." Our pastor reminded us in his last sermon that the Spirit has come to us from the very throne room of God to speak to us. You may feel beat down, but the Spirit tells you that you will be okay. He will tell you what is yet to come. You may lose things you hold dear, but do not lose heart. You will be okay. "Weeping may endureth for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5b, KJV). Other verses rose up and encouraged me this morning as well:
"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy" (John 16:22, emphasis mine).
"Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete" (John 16:24b).
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters" (Psalm 18:16).
"The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?.... For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling" (Psalm 27:1, 5a).
"I will be glad and rejoice in Your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul" (Psalm 31:7).
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all" (Psalm 34:18-19).
I hope those verses encourage you as they did me. I have also been thinking this morning of Galatians 5:22: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." When I was growing up, I heard more than once the idea to focus on each of these traits at a time, working on developing that trait. There is some good to that idea, but I think the premise of it is all wrong. We make things so difficult for ourselves. Why do work that was never ours to do? It is the Spirit's work to make these things happen in us! If we are spending time with God, listening to Him, reading His Word, asking Him for guidance, then these are the fruits, the produce, the result of our "work" of abiding in Him. I think it is no mistake that the first fruit is love, followed by joy. If we experience God's love, we feel more loving towards others. And when you experience this sort of love, how can you be anything but joyful? And then I think the other fruits follow much more easily. If we can just learn the key to joy!
A few days ago, a friend and mentor prayed for me. I don't often cry, but I always cry when someone prays aloud for me. I guess I finally release some of the burden that I am carrying and let someone else carry it for me, for just those moments of prayer anyway. (The reality, of course, is that God will carry it for me, if I'll only let Him.) Please know this morning that I prayed for you. I prayed for an open heart, for wisdom, for peace, for direction, for joy, for comfort.
Grace, peace, and joy be yours today. And tomorrow. And the next day.
This morning I decided to try something a little different in my quiet time. I decided to fix a cup of coffee (well, instant cappuccino, but it works) and go outside and sit on the back porch. I decided to be quiet. Normally, I promptly open my Bible, read some passages recommended in our pastor's most recent sermon notes, and then I write. I've recently decided that I need to do some praying first. But yesterday, as I thought about this morning's quiet time, I thought about needing to be quiet. So this morning I sat and...just sat. Because of our dog's aging bladder, I was up fairly early. And it was quiet. Our pool's waterfall hadn't begun to run (it starts up at 7:00), the planes hadn't begun to fly overhead, and apparently, the creatures hadn't gotten going yet either, with the exception of a bird and a squirrel. For whatever reason, I got up and walked around, and suddenly I could hear something. It was a constant rustling, not too close, but not too far away. It was the cottonwood tree in the front yard of the house next door. While we're not too fond of the cottony stuff the tree produces (it coats the outside of our air unit and can clog up our pool's inner workings), I love to hear the leaves. Probably part of why I love it is because it's similar to an aspen. My parents spent their college years in Colorado and loved it, so the cottonwood's unique song reminds me of them.
Now, this tree is tall. And as I looked across the rooftops to enjoy the visual dance of the cottonwood's leaves, I began to notice the tops of the two large oak trees that stand guard at the front of our house. And I noticed the clouds in the great expanse of blue, blue sky. I happened to glance down at our back porch. It looked so small. I saw the beach towels and pool floats draped around the table and chairs. Those are the things I usually see. I rarely really see the trees, clouds, and sky.
I often think to myself that I should go for a swim in these mornings when I'm up before the rest of the family. And so today I did. I stretched my muscles, stiff from the night's sleep, and felt the water roll over my arms as I moved them through the water. And I enjoyed what God has made.
It's funny how the small things usually seem large, so large that they block our view of the truly large things. And it's funny how the noise of life drowns out the silence that we so desperately need in order to hear the things we really ought to hear.
Before long, the waterfall began to rush, the planes began gliding with their buzzing rumble above, and I made my way back to the porch. And soon after, my toddler girl appeared at the back door, awake and ready for some attention.
I never made it to the Bible reading that I had intended for today. But God spoke to me anyway and confirmed that I had made a good decision about how I spent my morning.
"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10a).
Today is the Fourth of July, America's Independence Day. As the daughter and granddaughter of Air Force officers, I am a patriotic sort. My blood boils if there isn't silence when the National Anthem is played. I glare at the backs of teenage boys' heads if they don't remove their hats when I hear "O say, can you see." Respect and support for our country is a huge part of who I am. And when my mother and I took a summer vacation to England some years ago, I wanted to be sure we'd be back in the States on the Fourth of July; it seemed wrong to be in England on such an American holiday!
And while I honor our nation's past and pray that we continue to work against injustice, today I'm not thinking about independence. I'm thinking about dependence. As human beings--and especially as Americans, I think--the idea of dependence is distasteful. To be dependent upon someone or something is a sign of weakness. Or is it? Depends on whom it is, doesn't it?
Recently, I have begun to understand what dependence on God really means. I'm nowhere close to achieving it, but I'm beginning to understand what it means and how I can get there. The more I read, the more I listen to our pastor's sermons, and the more I mull over what I've heard in the past, the more I see that it all begins with having some time with God. Just you and God. And you have to be completely open with Him; you can't be tentative and guarded in your meetings with Him. It's pretty pointless anyway, seeing as that He made you and knows what you're thinking. As I see it, there are 3 main components of a good chat with God: prayer, Bible reading, and listening. You've got to talk to God, then You've got to see what He's been saying, and then you've got to LISTEN. What are you listening for? What God wants YOU to hear. Hmmmm...three components, three persons of God--the Father, the Son, the Spirit...coincidence? Doubt it. Interesting. You talk to Jesus, who's been here on this earth, in all its misery and frustration, so He gets it. You go to the Father for advice, encouragement, and motivation, and He'll give you what you need, just like a dad should. And then the Spirit.... The Spirit here means "breath," originally. So after you consult with the Son and the Father, the Spirit breathes in your ear what you need to hear and gives you the spirit to follow it. I'm sure I've heard sermons or read books that have explained all this before, but isn't "discovery learning" best? Sometimes you have to come to an understanding on your own.
I have a pretty strong background in church and religion. I don't remember not going to church, growing up. While this is good, it isn't enough. Once a foundation is built, it doesn't mean the building is finished; it's only just begun. I have to continue the work that my parents, grandparents, and teachers began and build my own house of worship for God and me. This idea of building a strong foundation on God is becoming more and more urgent to me by the day. My daughter is 19 months old. While I'm thankful for Nick Jr. and the Fresh Beat Band (Google it, if you're that curious), I want her to sing and dance to songs about God. I want her to not only be able to tell me that the sound a lion makes is "AHHHHHH!!!" (it's adorable, by the way), but also tell me that God made lions and that He even closed their mouths when Daniel needed protection. And as she grows up, she'll learn on her own how the story of "Daniel in the lions' den" applies to her life. Deuteronomy 11 says, "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds.... Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (v. 18a, 19).
So how can I be a good enough and wise enough mother to instill this in my child? How am I going to do or be anything I want to do or be? The only answer I have is to depend on God. And that starts with having regular conversations with Him, reading His advice book, and listening for what you personally need to hear. And really, quite frankly, just knowing that you don't have all the answers and are in need of guidance every step of the way. And that's dependence. At least as I see it. :)
Happy Dependence Day! Have another one tomorrow!
