Keeping Your Mouth Shut Is Step 1

While the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, it may be possible that just keeping your mouth shut is the precursor to wisdom. In Proverbs 17:28, Solomon says, "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." James, in the New Testament, spent most of a chapter explaining the importance of taming the tongue. "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be" (James 3:9-10). If we truly want to follow Christ and bring glory to our Father, we must learn to weigh our words. Consider the power of words. We can do damage with our words, or we can do good with them. Life, really, boils down to a series of choices. We are called to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9). For these reasons, let us consider the words of Proverbs 17 on these matters.

"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out" (Prov. 17:14). I'm glad I haven't kept a record of how many stupid arguments I have perpetuated with my husband. I would be embarrassed by how long the list would be. In a card given to us for our wedding from my mom and dad, my mom had written a paraphrase of what their minister had said in a sermon. It went something like this: "When two people stand before God in Judgment, they're going to feel pretty silly telling Him they split up over how the toothpaste cap was put on." Those arguments are so ridiculous, but they are also dangerous. We have seen recently the devastation that comes from a dam breached. So think wisely before you open your mouth.

"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends" (Prov. 17:9). When someone offends us, one of the first things we do is tell someone else about it. We say we need to vent, that we need to have someone validate our feelings. Are you bringing joy to the world when you do this? (By the way, I'm saying 'ouch' the whole time I'm writing this.) And if the person who offended us and the person to whom we are repeating the story know each other...well, you're demonstrating a severe lack of good judgment. Are you promoting peace and love between fellow human beings? Nope. Is God pleased when you do that? Nope. Ouch.

"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife" (Prov. 17:1). We've all been in a situation at a dinner table in which the tension was so thick, it could be cut with, not a knife, but a spoon. Filet mignon, new potatoes with rosemary, and crisp salad could be the menu, but you will not enjoy that meal. Who could with such hostility lurking underneath the table? And God help everyone if the insults are passed around with as much frequency as the salt shaker. That reminds me that we are also to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). We are to preserve the unity and love that God bequeathed to us. Back to the dinner imagery...I'd rather eat Ramen noodles and be laughing my head off at something entertaining my husband said than eat in the finest restaurants in the world and be miserable.

Be honest with yourself as you consider these issues. Remember, too, that "the LORD tests the heart" (Prov. 17:3b). You cannot lie to Him. He knows you better than you know yourself. But He wants you to have life abundantly.

One more thought to keep in mind, particularly as we approach flu season. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Prov. 17:23). Keep your focus on God. Line your thoughts up with His. His ways are healing, and they are the way to life. Remember that a joyful spirit reduces the occurrence of stress, and stress is a key factor in becoming sick.